Happiness

Although the above advice does not directly create happiness, an improved approach to life creates more opportunities for happiness. As I write in this cafe, I complimented the girl behind the counter of her joyful welcome and on her silvery round glasses. I try to show that I appreciate people’s effort in an indirect way. I avoid compliments on body build and figure. When she asked me if I wanted anything else, I said: “I’m trying to lose weight to look fit and trim like you!”

In the corner of the cafe, there is a couple in their thirties kissing and cuddling. Touch and hugs are important for our immune system. Don’t miss out on hugs. If saying goodbye, even to a stranger with whom you have had a significant conversation, employ a hug if possible. They will remember it and it will be good for you. Others agree:

• Hugs can have health benefits, including reducing fear, stress, and pain. Hugs may also support immune and cardiovascular health.[*]
• This is because positive physical touch can make us feel good. It boosts levels of hormones and neurotransmitters that promote mental well-being, is involved in bonding, and can help reduce stress. [*]
• We hug others when we’re excited, happy, sad, or trying to comfort. Hugging, it seems, is universally comforting. It makes us feel good. And it turns out that hugging is proven to make us healthier and happier. [*]
• The benefits of hugging go beyond that warm feeling you get when you hold someone in your arms. [*]
• Hugs reduce stress by showing your support.
• In one study of twenty heterosexual couples, men were given unpleasant electric shocks. During the shocks, each woman held the arm of her partner. Researchers found that the parts of each woman’s brain associated with stress showed reduced activity while those parts associated with the rewards of maternal behavior showed more activity. When we hug someone to comfort them, these parts of our brain may show a similar response.
• In a study of over 400 adults, researchers found that hugging may reduce the chance a person will get sick. The participants with a greater support system were less likely to get sick. And those with the greater support system who did get sick had less severe symptoms than those with little or no support system.

So, in my guide to happiness, do not avoid hugs when available. Hug people whenever it is appropriate. Hug someone when they are under stress.

I made an effort to make the café server’s day a little more meaningful. Sometimes, people get inspired by my little stories about travel. I remembering one girl struggling in her veterinary science degree, saying with gusto: “If Andy can do it. I can do it.” I had been talking about how I saw education at higher levels as a punishment for being successful. Your time between the ages of eighteen to twenty-one is special. At eighteen, your life changes with freedom, opportunities, and challenges. To be short of money from eighteen to twenty-one is a punishment for being successful at school. To have one’s head buried in books on a subject course you supposedly ‘chose’ at seventeen because a teacher told is a punishment for being successful at school. When I was eighteen, I went to university in London. My friends in my home town were buying new motorcycles and going off to compete in the Scottish Six Days Motorcycle Trial, a world renowned event and on the bucket list of every motorcycle trials rider.

I remember one girl who was really struggling with life in a course she was failing. Home town did not help as they expected her to ‘succeed’. I said: “You have already failed. Give up and go do something you are good at.” ‘They’ have pushed you into a course for which you are unsuitable. There was a girl last week from Turkey. She had a degree in law. At twenty-two she was most concerned that she had never had a boyfriend. Unfortunately, I had to catch the train out to Prague the next day. We could have had a fun day out with laughter and silliness with myself being the de-facto boyfriend, in a manner that she could see how to treat a male as a boyfriend. I could have shown her how to attract the boy of her choosing and play games on him until he fell in love with her. I have done this before on my travels. I remember going round an Austrian Christmas market with a German girl arm in arm. She was at ease to suggest what she would like in a manner to get me to cooperate. She gained the confidence to manipulate the male in a manner that the male did not realise that he was being manipulated!. I did manage to explain to the Turkish lawyer girl how to play games with boys, such as accidentally being in the way by standing in a manner to block a door as he was approaching so that he would have to negotiate to get past her. I explained how to say ‘Hi’ with a nod and keep walking so he is in total discomfort as to whether she likes him or not.

So happiness comes from making others happy. However, is this part of my upbringing. In our Christian countries, our mothers teach us to be good to others. She may never mention the word Jesus and never take us to a Church, but she teaches us in the ‘philosophy of Jesus’. Early Christians had no church and did not call themselves Christians. They were ‘labeled’ Christians by others because they followed what I call ‘The Philosophy of Jesus’. And by the way, Jesus was the greatest defenders of ‘Woman’s Rights’. There were destitute women on the streets in the time of Jesus. Some even turned to prostitution to survive. Women have always used the popularity of sex to survive. Men pay with their life’s work effort to support a woman and her offspring. Jesus said: “If you divorce a woman and marry a new woman, you are committing adultery.” This meant that the male would not go to heaven. Relationships were more of a business arrangement back then. There was a law that marriage had an ‘Any fault divorce’. The male that got fed up with his wife could write down any fault and she was ‘out on the streets’ to fend for herself. He would take a new younger wife. ‘New money’ rich people often do this. ‘Older money’ rich people often choose a marriage partner to continue a dynasty. Although, they might get up to trysts on the side.

I am not sure if my hypothesis is universal. If I state that ‘happiness comes from making others happy’ and ‘making others happy’ was part of my upbringing, then maybe, those that are taught to loath other groups when young gain happiness from damaging others.

So, happiness may derive from facets of our upbringing. Some may get joy from damaging others. Many consider Winston Churchill to be a genocidal maniac. Here are some of his statements:

“We proceeded systematically, village by village, and we destroyed the houses, filled up the wells, blew down the towers, cut down the great shady trees, burned the crops and broke the reservoirs in punitive devastation.” – Churchill on how the British carried on in Afghanistan, and he was only too happy to be part of it.

The British Army under the guidance of Churchill perpetrated a massacre on the streets of Athens in the month of December 1944. 28 protesters were shot dead, a further 128 injured. The British demanded that all guerrilla groups should disarm on the 2nd December 1944. The following day 200,000 people took to the streets, and this is when the British Army under Churchill’s orders turned their guns on the people. Churchill regarded ELAS (Greek People’s Liberation Army) and EAM (National Liberation Front) as “miserable banditti”, these were the very people who ran the Nazis out. His actions in the month of December were purely out of his hatred and paranoia for communism.

“I’d rather see them have a good civil war”. – Churchill wishing partition on India.

Very few in Britain know about the genocide in Bengal let alone how Churchill engineered it. Churchill’s hatred for Indians led to four million starving to death during the Bengal ‘famine’ of 1943. “I hate Indians. They are a beastly people with a beastly religion” he would say.

“I am strongly in favour of using poisoned gas against the uncivilized tribes… it would spread a lively terror.” – Churchill on the use of gas in the Middle East and India.

Churchill was also an advocate for the use of mustard and poison gases. Whilst ‘Secretary for War and Air’ he advised that “the provision of some kind of asphyxiating bombs” should be used “for use in preliminary operations against turbulent tribes” in order to take control of Iraq. When Iraqi tribes stood up for themselves, under the direction of Churchill the British unleashed terror on mud, stone and reed villages.

“I do not agree that the dog in a manger has the final right to the manger.” Chuchill.

In 2012 Churchill was honoured with a statue in Jerusalem for his assistance to Zionism. He regarded the Arab population Palestine to be a “lower manifestation”. And that the “dog in a manger has the final right to the manger”, by this he meant the Arabs of Palestine.

He went on to also express to the Peel Commission that he does “not admit for instance, that a great wrong has been done to the Red Indians of America or the black people of Australia. I do not admit that a wrong has been done to these people by the fact that a stronger race, a higher-grade race, a more worldly wise race to put it that way, has come in and taken their place”.

Churchill suggested “100,000 degenerate Britons should be forcibly sterilised/others put in labour camps to halt decline of British race”. He also went on to suggest that “for tramps and wastrels there ought to be proper labour colonies where they could be sent”.

So, I am sure that happiness for everyone is not the same. I assume it is similar for those brought up in the Christian West as we were all brought up with the concept of ‘Common Decency’ in its many manifestations. Don’t forget that early Christians were called: “Christians” because non-Christians detected that they acted in the manner of Jesus. They were not deemed Christians because they wore little crosses around their neck or went to a Church on a Sunday. In my country, when somebody dies in a car accident, the family places an impromptu wooden cross with flowers. It is possible that the deceased never went to a church and was never baptized. Provided he followed the ‘Philosophy of Christ’ he can rightly be honoured with a cross. (‘he’ is used in the sense of all humans, not as a reference to males.)

Let us consider some external statements. Firstly from the untrustworthy Wikipedia. I say untrustworthy as some nations employ persons to edit content to suit their agenda. It can generally be trusted for this type of entry. Yandex (.com) is generally better for searching topics that those that control our politicians consider to be controversial. A girl just walked by in this cafe who looked just like my first wife. I often complement a girl by telling them that they look just like the girl I married forty years ago, and I thought she was rather special. Which reminds me of a Mark Twain quip: “I can live for two months on a good compliment.”

Wikipedia:

Happiness is a complex and multifaceted emotion that encompasses a range of positive feelings, from contentment to intense joy. It is often associated with positive life experiences, such as achieving goals, spending time with loved ones, or engaging in enjoyable activities. However, happiness can also arise spontaneously, without any apparent external cause.

Happiness is closely linked to well-being and overall life satisfaction. Studies have shown that individuals who experience higher levels of happiness tend to have better physical and mental health, stronger social relationships, and greater resilience in the face of adversity.

The pursuit of happiness has been a central theme in philosophy and psychology for centuries. While there is no single, universally accepted definition of happiness, it is generally understood to be a state of mind characterized by positive emotions, a sense of purpose, and a feeling of fulfillment. [Wikipedia]

Aristippus, a Greek philosopher from the fourth century BC claimed happiness was the sum of life’s ‘hedonic’ moments (Ryan & Deci, 2001). Hedonic enjoyment is a state whereby an individual feels relaxed, has a sense of distance from their problems and, can be said to feel ‘happy’ (Ryan & Deci, 2001).

Since the days of Aristotle, happiness has been conceptualized as being composed of at least 2 aspects – hedonia (or, pleasure) and eudaimonia (a sense that life is well-lived) (Kringelbach & Berridge, 2010). [*]

Science research suggests both the hedonic and the eudaimonic components of happiness exist. (Kringelbach and Berridge, 2010) However, happiness is still an emotion and as such operates in the subconscious. I guess that the reptile gets the same happiness when it achieves certain goals. I sometimes say to young males: “Look at all males in the whole of the animal kingdom. What is the major task of males? — to chase females. We have been told that we have to work to demonstrate our worthiness to womankind.” I do this to fire males up. Issues such as past rejection by a female may inhibit them from ‘chasing females’. My point in the topic of happiness follows. I am assuming that our subconscious was inherited from a reptile that had no neocortex. The life goal of a male reptile is to ‘chase females’ and whatever follows including the upbringing of any resultant young reptiles. You may notice that there is a tendency to put younger females on the front lines of companies, cafes, and supermarkets. Happiness may tend to be biased towards quality relationships and casual encounters with other humans of the other sex. If males get happiness from casual meetings with females even if only at the cafe counter, I can assume that girls get a similar happiness hit when a male of adequate stature demonstrates recognition of their attributes. I just found this in my stored notes: “Communicating with other lizards becomes especially important during the breeding season, and studies have shown an increase in gland activity during this time.” It may also explain why males get enjoyment out of sport when they beat other males and receive ovations for doing so. This might be equivalent to fending off other males for mating rights. I was looking out of the window of my sixth floor window in this old soviet style hotel at three pigeons. Two pigeons were having a tussle in a sort of beak fight. The third was standing nonchalantly as if ignoring the activity. I assumed the two in the tussle were male and the nonchalant pigeon was I class as an ‘interesting female’, which is a way of saying ‘of breeding age’. One male pigeon flew off out of sight as he perceived that he had lost the duel. The ‘winning’ male pigeon flew to the side of the female pigeon. She flew off to a perch three metres away. The male flew to her side. She flew off again two metres. The two then disappeared into a hole in the roof material not to be seen again. Female humans of mating age  play the same game. They show lack of interest initially, disappearing for a day but ‘accidentally’ being at the same cafe next day so that he can ‘accidentally’ find her in an amazing ‘coincidence’.

What I have trouble with is that our education is teaching us that ‘success’ in governed society comes from passing exams and becoming a ‘better paid slave’. One assumes that success and happiness are tied together and they are not. Who has the happiest smiles as I walk the streets? — it is the girl pushing the pram.

I have some observations from conversations. When a younger persons enters a room, they swing their eyes around a room. The girls spot all the boys in the room and the boys spot all the girls in the room. This appears to happen in about half a second. The neocortex is much too slow to do this. This is occurring in the reptile subconscious. When I quiz the boys about what their eyes do when their eyes detect an ‘interesting’ female, they agree that their eyes stay focused on the female for about five seconds. The brain goes through an analysis concerning suitability. Interestingly, it is similar to the television series ‘Snog Marry Avoid?

Irrespective, happiness is an emotion and it occurs in the subconscious. Like other emotions, hunger, pain, fear and more, happiness cannot be switched on using your logical neocortex. I cannot alter my heart speed, intestine speed, nor most bodily functions controlled by the subconscious. For example: I can alter my rate of breathing  along with the magnitude of my breath. Very soon, I start to go dizzy. My subconscious urgently wrenches back control and forces me to breath at its rate. At night, my toes move the bedding to as temperature control my body without my neocortex knowledge. I know that part of my brain keeps functioning when asleep as my breathing remains regulated, my intestines pump, and my heart rate is regulated. I have yet to puzzle which part of my brain shuts down when sleeping.

I got a temporary fright as I sat at my table in this café due to the view, but it soon abated. I like to scare myself occasionally. My eyes had scanned the region to ensure it was a safe place to pull out the notebook and continue the chapter. I was a somewhat sad as I lost an hour’s work because I failed to ‘save’ on leaving the last café. The unhappiness soon disappeared as I rectified the lost work.